Live your life


” I don’t think I did enough. I had so many opportunities to do better but what I did is some idiotic actions. I was supposed to be showing compassion, love and care but I became selfish and expressed my emotions which were hurting and does not confirm to logic. I am constantly suffering. People around me are the ones who caused me suffer and spoiled the beautiful dreamland of mine. Things did not go as planned. I am suffering, I need help”, A distressed visitor to the camp kept on expressing his guilt of not being good.

“You thought you are perfect and you are proven wrong. You thought you will do only right things but you were proven wrong. You thought you were only good, nice, loving and caring but you were proven wrong.”, I said to the disturbed mind.

I found tears in his eyes. “I have hurt my parents that they can never forget. I blamed them for everything wrong that happened to me. I have hurt them. How could I?”, he continued crying. “My wife hates everybody from my family. I feel guilty of talking to anybody as if I am betraying my wife. She gives reason for her hatred and sometimes the reasons make sense to me. I sometimes starts hating them as well, she is the evil force behind all bad that is happening to me.”

“Okay, so your wife is the cause of all the problem. She did everything bad to you. She made you hate your parents and that caused you to be bad with your parents.”, I said to the crying individual.

“She is not bad. She did lot of good things for me and my parents. In twenty years of marriage, my life has taken lots of positive turn and she was party to it. She supported me when I needed her. She herself took care of my parents at times.”, He said after composing himself for a bit.

“Okay, So she was good sometimes but she should have been good every time. That was the expectation.”, I said to confirm.

“Actually It is a long story. It started somewhere many years back when my wife had said something to my mother out of anger and my mother had reacted to it badly. Then on everybody kept hurting each other and started taking revenge when anybody got any opportunity. Gradually her family and my family got involved as well. They patch up at times and once again start their acts or revenge.”, He said.

“I feel like being at loss because my family is being put down at many occasions and her family is getting special treatment. It’s because I am being nice to all but my wife is showing her anger, emotion openly. So It feels like her family is the privileged one.”, he continued.

“So it is a war like situation where you want to be the winner by making your family win. But on the contrary you have hurt your own parents. That’s like rather than hurting others you have hurt your own.”, I summarized.

There was silence. A thoughtful mind was trying to understand it’s problem. Peace was prevailing gradually in the disturbed mind. Sorrow and anger was gradually settling.

After a few minutes of silence I heard, “I need help”.

“What help do you need?”, I asked maintaining calm.

“I want to erase all bad deeds of past. I want peace for now and future. I want to be happy”, He was begging.

“Life is a war!! We have to be perfectly prepared. We have enemies in front of us who are our own. A single mistake is going to make us loser. Your friends and enemies changing their positions rapidly. You have to constantly evaluate and identify your enemy and act against them with your perfect weapon. You can’t get weak or make wrong shots. Ultimately when the war is over, you should be the winner. All your friends should be in the winning side and the enemies whom you killed can’t turn to become friends anymore. Isn’t it?”, I said with a smile.

“Which and whose war is this? War to win what? Whose loss will you enjoy? It’s a false war. It is called Maya.

If you have any friend, that’s you.

If you have any enemy, that’s you.

There is nobody else who is at war with you. Your mind is turning yourself against you when it’s not getting enough positive fuel. It turns yourself as your friend when it gets lots of positive fuel. You are hungry of love and compassion. Your engine is burning without fuel and creating negative emotions. Give it love”, I said.

“How can I when I do not have anybody to love me around. Everybody wants from me. They all are selfish.”, he said with anger.

“Love, compassion, positive fuel, starts with you. You have to give to get. If you are getting from anywhere without giving it then you are lucky or may be your have done some good deed in past. Otherwise it can only originate from you so that it can come back to you. Negative emotions might come to you on the way but it’s only matter of patience. You must tolerate it without absorbing.

Just focus on giving positive emotions.

It is a simple formula of 3G.

Give the needy. Needy is somebody who needs. Some need love, some need care, some need physical help, some need money and most need your time where you can listen to them.

Greet the passer-by. In this life make as many friends as you can make. Greet everybody who comes on your way of life. Sometimes some stay for few seconds and some stay for many years but greet them equally. Get excited about meeting people. Share joy or meeting them.

Gratitude is essential. When you meet people think to recall what good they have done for you. How small or big the good deed may be do  recall them. Remember those good moments whenever you meet. Feel great that you could meet them who did help you at some point of life.

In this process if there is something that is going to block you is ‘Fear’. Fear in many forms make us angry, sad, crazy and that leads us to inaction or over reaction. May be what you did wrong was because of fear. You feared something and that suppressed your emotions for long and when you couldn’t hold it for long you busted out of anger. Now you repent the action but the damage is already done.

Now, Don’t try to use any trick or any revenge to cover the damage that is already done.

Love through 3G is your way to go, it will take time but it will help. What you need to avoid in this process is any fear which will cause accumulation of pain.

There is nobody who is perfect. Don’t take the burden to be great, perfect, powerful or complete. These are shadow of your journey. Sometimes you may look great, perfect, powerful or complete but that’s not real you. Truth is, you are an incomplete man with all emotions that a human can possibly have. Don’t look back to the dark, create brightness for your onward journey. Life is as beautiful as you make it. Every moment is your slave. You create the moment. Moments do not create you. Life is what you create not what others create for you. Live your life.

Namaste!!!

-Stray Dog

 

Missing : Heaven and Hell


“Heaven and Hell Missing”, Headline of a leading newspaper reads.  It continues, ‘PTI reported today that Heaven and hell has been missing since today morning. Major religious books and leaders confirm the news. One of the religious leader confirmed to PTI that, “Today morning when I picked our religious book for study as part of daily ritual I found that the mention of heaven and hell are missing. I tried to inquire with fellow members of our community and they all reported the same. Just now I also heard from the religious leaders of other communities and religions that they observed the same.”

This has created havoc in many groups because they don’t know where to go after release from earth. The only option left to them is to just focus on their duties on this earth.Major religious hardliner organizations found it as a conspiracy against them. They fear drop in the recruitment of youngsters who were willing to do anything with the only hope that they can go to heaven by doing the holy act of destroying/releasing the nonbelievers of their truth.

Many who were planning for their future abode have started focusing on their today’s stay. Lot of love, compassion and support for each other is seen on this earth as people think they cant preserve any for future..

An FIR has been logged against this act under severe pressure from some political wings who think this is an act of opposition Due to no clue on how to proceed further, Police is planning to close the case stating it is an ‘Act of God’.

Perspective


“Challenges, problems, success, failure, achievements and many more such words we use throughout the day to express our life situation to others. At times we share our life situations with other and at other times we keep it to ourselves but whether we express or not life situation happens. Most of the time the life situation feels like uncontrollable and unpredictable. Sometimes we take action to be better prepared to face the life situation or we try to make the uncontrollable or unpredictable thing to happen for us by controlling related situations and predicting its happening time and intensity. Nobody has any control but most try to control and nobody can predict but all try to predict.”, A colleague of mine Sitesh, was blabbering sitting beside me in the waiting hall of a hospital after admitting Jai, who complained about severe chest pain and was sweating uncontrollably while in office. We suspected heart attack. My friends words made no sense and my constant effort to find conclusion of his statement or in other words to understand what he is trying to convey made me tired, very tired.

I got up to get a coffee from the canteen of the hospital. Although my purpose was not to take the conversation forward and tire my brain further when I am already tired of thinking what will happen to my friend who is admitted as his family is not in the town and his wife is in later stage of her pregnancy. I being very close to Jai made me tired of thinking what will happen if he dies. His daughter is in primary school and he is the only earning member of his family. I asked Sitesh if he wants coffee. He responded stating caffeine is not good when you are tensed and started talking about its negative effects. I tried to vanish from that situation.

When I came back I found doctor coming out from the emergency. I went running to him. He said it was nothing to do with heart but severe gastritis. He should be  fine in couple of hours. I was relieved and went to meet him. He was advised to take rest for couple of hours so we left for office leaving him in hospital for the night. On our way back Sitesh again started his philosophical lecture, “You must have thought about heart attack and its consequences and made yourself tired by now. You must not think too much ahead of time unless you need to plan for it. You see yourself. You have harmed yourself by having coffee and cigarettes due to the unnecessary tension.”.

I was unable to take it anymore. I stopped my car on a road side and turned towards him, “Its easy to talk all you have been blabbering since past couple of hours but when a near and dear one is at danger it is not mind that works but the emotions. You do not have any attachment towards Jai and you don’t know his family so you are meeting just an office colleague whose life or death, existence or nonexistence does not matter to you hence you can be philosophical and practical but I cant. He is like my brother and I can feel the pain that his family may go through if he is in danger. I do not need your advice at this time but just a company which can help me if I need extra two hands if I need. If you feel you can do any better to a person at distress then just try to empathize and do not try to drag the person out of the situation. It does not help but hurts.”, I thought I made my point loud and clear.Started my car. Did not utter a single word.

Next day Jai go discharged and I took him back home. I found Sitesh there at his home along with Jai’s wife and daughter waiting for our arrival. I was surprised to see Sitesh there but decided to ignore him. In sometime I got to know that Sitesh is Jai’s brother-in-law. Sitesh was Jai’s wife’s brother. That changed my perspective a bit and felt guilty of yesterday’s incidence. But I still felt he needed that lecture from me.

Sitesh came and sat next to me when things at Jai’s home settled. He apologized me for bothering me yesterday. I also reciprocated stating that I did not know that he is Jai’s relative.

Namaste!!!

Stray Dog

Out of Memory


“What is that you call as your memory? Do you remember everything that happened to you till date?”, Ajay asked.

“Okay Atul , let me ask you a better question, tell me 10 things that you thing worth telling to others about your life?”, Ajay asked point to me while we were enjoying our relaxing tea with a half plate poha at Shiva’s adda before our meeting life starts.

If you are wondering what is meting life, let me explain. As part of our daily rituals and considering the geographical location of our fellow team members we spend most of our late evening/night in meetings. So what is ‘night life’ for others , we call it as ‘meeting life’.

Although we all pulled Ajay’s leg about having a ‘out of memory error’ in life but it really stuck to my mind. It did not let me sleep. I found it difficult to find even 7 such memories in my 27 years of life. I reviewed the list of 7 such memories I could think.

  1.  I spent day and night studying in college for 2nd semester so that I can score 90% in the examination.
  2.  I worked so hard in my initial 2 years of my career to get recognized that at times I did not go home at night.
  3. I went with my friends on a trekking through an abandoned railway track through a restricted part of he reserved forest.
  4. I was about to be rusticated from the college for leading protest against college management regarding basic facilities that should be provided to the students.
  5. One day while taking packed dinner for my family I found few kids at the footpath and I gave them the packet and went again to the restaurant to get food for my family.
  6. We spent whole night at a platform because we missed the last train to our destination.
  7. I was about to be jailed for having bhaang.

 

Whether good or bad acts that I considered as my memories worth telling others but all situations where such where things were not perfect. Either I had to sacrifice something or there was fear of failure associated. This made me realize that we don’t remember things which were perfect while we always try to shape our life so that it is perfect.

Life is not about how to make things perfect. It is how I sailed through imperfect situations.So if I have to call my life as life, then I must get myself into such life situations which are not perfect and try to make them perfect. Finding opportunities to contribute rather than playing it safe and smooth.

I was extremely motivated after this thought. I was on vacation for a week but as soon as I resumed work, went to Ajay’s desk to thank him for asking this thought provoking question. I never took Ajay seriously but after this incidence I was interested in his thought process and philosophy. There are so many people whom we ignore or misunderstand but we never know who can change the direction of our life.

I found his desk empty with only one sticky note on his cube, “If you can’t find enough in your memory then start by being part of other’s memory. Life will get enriched. Good bye Atul”. He left the organization while I was on vacation and he knew I will come back to him.

Namaste!!!

Stray dog

 

Sutta?? (Smoke Break??)


Jiten was a small town boy who wanted to study in an engineering college after succeeding in a competitive examination. A big dream of the family got fulfilled and Jiten was on top of the world.

First few days in the college was the time to wonder how big the college is and exploring how an engineering college looks like. In few weeks time he realized that he is considered as a second class citizen among the students as he comes from a small town and not reputed school. His dream was big and his aspirations were high. He thought, it is impossible to reach to the top if he is not part of the students from big cities, colleges or rich families. He explored all options and through different tactics finally he entered the gang. Once he was in the gang the majority of the day spent in fun activities. Fun not always in pure form. One of the fun he acquired was smoking. Although he was not getting enough pocket money to buy cigarettes but his friends were kind enough in these matters initially. In return he used to help them in studies, assignments etc. Little bit of shameless begging in the wrap of friendship prospered his smoking career.  His college journey was full of fun and exciting incidents of not-permitted-to kind of adventures.

After he graduated with some struggle he got his first job and he could continue his smoking habit. Habit that was nurtured by begging, sharing and buying skills. At times it was considered as a manly act and at times an act of revolt from good people. He continued to prosper in his job as well and buying power increased hence sharing and begging skills were no longer required.

Throughout this journey, friends, family members and inner voice many a times asked him to stop it. Finally when his first child was born he decided to quit smoking. Since morning he was under so much pressure to smoke that his urge to smoke was multifold compared to smoking days. It made him so crazy that he started behaving bad with family members, friends, colleagues including his boss. He tried his best to quit and the more he was trying he was suffering from anxiety. Then after few days he decided to continue smoking as he felt he was doing more harm to himself and life by his these behaviors. This process was attempted many times and sometimes within days, to at times within hours, he had to resume smoking.

He realized it is essential to analyze the thoughts that are preventing him from quitting. After some careful analysis he realized that the thought that was prevailing was “I have to quit smoking, I have to stop this habit. it is a bad habit hence I have to stop, for my kids happy future I have to stop. etc”

All these were thoughts that were representing negative pictures. Pictures that scares, depresses and develops guilt feeling within.

He decided to start thinking positives. What opportunities that will bring if he quits smoking. What benefits he can get by quitting etc. He realized that there are so many good things he can do instead of spending the time in smoking. The positive feeling he will get to tell people that he has quit smoking and of course the money he will save. It took a while to register these thoughts and while in this process he never hesitated to smoke when he felt like. No pressure on mind and doors were opening towards the positive world. Sudden work pressure made him busy and after a day he realized that he has not smoked since 24 hours. He continued to stay busy and do what he wanted to do. Days passed by and he lived smoke free without any guilt. Once after couple of weeks he thought he is very happy hence he needs to smoke. As promised to self not to pressurize, he went to smoke a cigarette and it resulted in nausea, vomiting and discomfort. He realized that his body rejected the habit.

He remained smoke free happily ever after.

Our thoughts make ways to the destination we want to reach. Despite having a well defined goal if we think negatively or worry about failures we may not reach the goal ever. Despite having a not so defined goal if we think positively about achieving it, there are chances we may meet the goal. Our actions are only reflection of our thoughts. If we think freely, we act freely. If we are indecisive then our actions will reflect the confusion.

Wish you a free life!!!

Namaste!!!

Stray Dog

A new Car in the Society


Amrut-Ganga Society is a residents society of an apartment which has 16 flats. Although the apartment was in a livable condition since past 3 years but did not have all the amenities till recently. In these 3 years the occupancy has increased from 2 to 11. New families came in and new friends were made. Some became friends as soon as they came and some remained indifferent. Some friends turned foes and some foes turned friends. All these continued as it does in any human village.

Celebration, fun, cooperation, arguments, gossips, quarrel, sacrifice, love and hatred all coexisted in the society. This made it a fun place to stay. I call it fun place because the above activities acted like ingredients to make the stay at society taste like undhiyu.

The basement of the apartment was reserved for parking for residents. As people occupied the flats the car owners picked up their preferred parking spot available at that moment. At times there were little tussle between car owners to occupy the convenient parking spot. When residents realized that parking is giving some trouble, they tried to find a solution to the problem. They thought of allotting parking spot to each flat. But upon careful study it was realized that there were only 11 parking spots and out of them some were not convenient for parking midsized vehicles. So they thought of leaving the resolution of the problem on time and let the currents car owners park their cars where they usually do. These were all good as only few out of 16 were owning cars and others had two wheelers.

It continued with some hiccups in between when a owner got a guest who came with a car or somebody parked their car at another place etc. But the situation remained bearable.

As some flats were occupied by young couples, over time they started buying cars and gradually all the convenient spots started filling up. The tussle became minor to moderate over time.

One fine morning when one of the owner came back from a vacation found his (So called) parking spot was occupied by a newly bought car. Despite being happy that one of the member of their society has bought a beautiful car, he was upset. He asked the new car owner to take the car out of his parking spot but the owner of new car denied and sounded rude.

Fearing the situation has come to a threshold there were lots of arguments, discussions and ideas to solve the parking problem. Finally some  came up with an idea to allot the parking spots available. Fortunately there were only 11 occupants and 11 parking spots. Hence they went ahead and allotted the parking spots. Then they came to tell everybody to park their car in the allotted spot. Everybody obliged except the owner of the new car. He was arrogant and also turned violent stating you have no right to decide where I shall park my car. You are not a legalized authority. This resulted in many more arguments, strategies, tactics to solve the problem but the owner of new car was stubborn.

People started boycotting the owner from every activity, thought of evil ideas to trouble him and his family, cursed him and negativity flourished like weeds during rainy season.

Finally one day a senior member of the society thought of having a dialog with the new car owner. He went with some flowers, sweets and snacks with him and knocked the door of the owner.

“Hello uncle, good morning”, the owner said.

“How are you son? Happy new year! I have got something for you and your family. May I come inside?”, the senior said.

“Yes Uncle, always welcome.”, the owner said and called his wife and kids. Then he offered him to sit.

They spoke on various topics to know each other and it was a great discussion. The senior member was surprised to see how cordial and respectful he is, unlike his impression about him. He finally decided to ask, “Son, is there a reason you are not following the society’s allocation of parking lot. I see you are such a nice person. Is there a reason and can I help anyway”.

The owner hesitated and the family members who were sitting there gradually left the drawing room. After much hesitation he said, “We don’t know how to drive a car. We bought the car as we always wished to but we could not still get the confidence to drive the car. I can not park my car in the allotted space because its narrow and needs lot of care. I also feel uncomfortable asking for help to park the car and I do not want to show my weakness. I am telling you the truth uncle but please do not disclose it to others. They will laugh at me. I know everybody in the society are angry with me and we are also spending sleepless night due to this.”.

Uncle was now dumbfounded by hearing this. He did not expect this at all. After absorbing the matter he said, “Son, would you mind if I teach you driving. I assure you nobody will know about it. Once you learn you can park comfortably in the allotted parking spot. It will not take more than 7 days.”

The new car owner agreed to it and everyday night after all owners slept they went for driving training and within a week he was expert to park his car at the spot allotted. All others were surprised. Some thought it was due to their pressure and negativity this car owner bent down.

Fear, sorrow, lack of confidence and many other type of weaknesses take the form of anger or arrogance if not managed well. We all need help time to time but our weaknesses stop us from taking it. Hence we show anger or bad behavior to hide the weakness. If we can be truthful to ourselves and tell the true feeling to our mind and loved ones, we will live a happy and satisfying life.

Namaste!!!

Stray Dog

It’s Expected


6:00 AM in a winter morning. Waking up kids for school is a tough job. The first difficulty is to wake ourselves up and be in a position to face the challenges you get when you try to wake up kids. We were successful today to get them ready for school (A cooperative family effort). After lots of love/hate, slow/fast and interesting/uninteresting actions by all parties we were ready for school. While in the car to drop them at school, I tried my philosophical stick to make it a happy beginning of the day. I asked kids, “Happy Happy Day!!!”. One of my kid responded shouting , “Not happy as my leg is paining”. Response was full of anger and sadness. As I was also barely able to keep myself awake after a 5 hours sleep I got angry and gave a big lecture on good behavior. But soon I realized that my kid was expecting a little bit of pamper, love, compassion and motivation. As he was hearing only instructions from me it was not fitting his expectation hence he was getting irritated and angry. A 3 seconds hug, 2 nice words and attention of paining (not really ) leg made him happy. Both went to school wearing a smile.

Every unexpected object, action or thought is attractive (both in positive as well as negative term). Bunch of people standing on a road makes many others stop to enquire what’s going 0n.  Every strange behavior attracts attention of people. Every unusual art form attracts many. This has become a money making formula for many. I have heard many music albums which were hotcake in the market because the singer had a unusual voice. I have seen some products (edible as well as non-edible) attracting people as if that’s the last thing on earth to acquire. I have seen many comments from people being discussed so much as if they are the creators of this universe. But the fact is that when things don’t fall in the frame of our expectation, it attracts criticism or appreciation. Rest all are usual or taken for granted.

Hence it solves the mystery why people behave strangely with you, Why people criticize or appreciate you.

Every time you see a strange behavior from anybody you must understand there is something which is not matching the expectation. Now its up to you to decide whether you care the behavior change in the person or not. If you do, it warrants for a deeper understanding of the mismatch and so on.

Namaste!!!

Stray Dog