Anger Therapy!

“What makes you happy?”, few seconds pause.

“Okay tell me, what makes you sad?”, again another impatient pause.

“Tell me what motivates you?”, too many questions asked in a very short span of time and I was expected to answer immediately. Difficult question because the answers come from heart for these questions and heart is very moody in responding. If you pressurize heart it stops talking. That was the state I was in. My heart had locked itself inside a room leaving me stand outside for last several hours.

Again after few seconds, “You don’t know what makes you happy or sad or what motivates you? How would you make yourself happy.”. “Okay just tell me whether people make you happy, sad and motivated or you make yourself happy, sad or motivated.”

“What a nonsense question! If you know who makes you feel in a particular way, you can always tell what makes you unhappy and you can take care of yourself. I am unhappy and I don’t know why. Does this happen to you ever? It does not look like, that’s why you are not able to understand. I am like this and you don’t have to interfere. May I get few seconds of peace.”, I revolted to help me out from this hostile environment.

Rishi, my friend who was with me in every situation for past several years was trying to help me but I was finding his help has more like a torture.

He got angry, “You know what?? You are not worth to be anybody’s friend. You don’t respect friendship, emotions of others and hardly care about anybody. You forget people when you leave that place and that proves you don’t care for people but use them for your benefit or entertainment as long as you are around. You deserve to remain lonely and sad.”, A very violent reaction to my not-so-soft -get-out instruction. But it peaked frustration in me to the core and I shouted at him like crazy.

Next 10 minutes was my time. I vented out my frustration with the situation around me with no logical reasoning and at it’s raw form. A negative reaction, very violent, words hurting people around me, (specifically Rishi ) came out continuously without getting QA checked by my brain. I was so negative and bad in my reaction that, Tears started peeping out of Rishi’s eyes whom I know as one of the strongest person. He started quietly wiping his tears but listening to me carefully. That diverted my attention from venting out poisonous words. I kept quiet for few seconds, feeling much better as I knew what exactly what I am feeling and why. But Rishi’s tears bothered me.

I told him , “Sorry, I did not mean to hurt you but I was out of my control. “.

He stopped me and said, “My dear friend, How are you feeling now?”

I said, “Much better and very relaxed. But I am sorry for what I said to you”, and started giving explanation for the same.

“It was me who wanted you to reach to this stage knowing very well that you will burst and may damage me emotionally. Sometimes our knowledge and power of evaluating good and bad words against us. We don’t even say what is good for us, bad for us, to ourselves, because our calculative mind stops the thoughts reaching us when it finds them illogical. It takes the ‘right to think’ away from you. Your irritations or frustrations remain within you in a very unknown chamber of your heart and your calculative mind hides that from your own self.

That was the stage where you were, when I was trying to instigate and shoo away your calculative mind. The moment you got angry your calculative mind vanished and your thinking ability stopped. This helped you to vent out your emotions irrespective of how illogical it may be. That is the reason you are feeling better now.

It is called anger therapy :)”

While I understood how anger can take me out of control but also realized that a controlled anger management can help us heal many psychological problems. Like they say, “Poison can cure the harm caused by poison” or “Nail can help take out a nail”.

PS: Please do not apply this therapy unless you have control over the situation as it may get physically and emotionally violent.


- Stray Dog



City of Chaos/Joy

Trying to avail the best suited shortcut to reach destination sacrificing physical comfort of self as well as others, frustration of not achieving goal, disturbance in the emotional space for undue expectations at home as well as work place, inconveniences caused by government or opposition and unkind nature (sun in specific) has irritated each and every passerby on a busy Kolkata road approaching a local railway station. Every one on the road is expecting other to be sensible and kind whereas nobody in a position to be so.

The first thought that came to my mind looking at the crowd was ‘Chaos’ and could find only one word for people all around i.e. selfish. The next emotion developed in my mind was ‘frustration’, which resulted in ‘hatred’ and finally I became one among the crowd.

I heard this city to as ‘City of Joy’. Huh!! where is joy?

It took me no time to be one like them and flowing in the same pattern. I was walking and struggling like thousands of people all around. What I observed then was surprising and against the law of nature as I once believed. People are rushing towards the train to catch the train without even touching each other, few millimeters of foot rest while hanging of train entrance was something to fight for, without even uttering a single word or hurting the other, finding a way into the compartment and coming out of the compartment while there are dozens of people are blocking your way without hurting another, people are able to maintain the number of the creases in their shirt despite the crowd, business is as usual inside a fully packed compartment, hundreds of people are walking on the street in different directions in a busy road without even touching each other. What I found actually was a strict discipline. Unsaid, unwritten rules followed by every individual despite their financial, social, cultural, religious and physical status.The place which looked utterly chaotic was actually a well planned, thought and disciplined movement.

The moment I realized this, I found the fun, entertainment, intellect, cooperation, friendliness and respect for each other. A beautiful place to be. A place where people discuss their worries and retrospect everyday freely, where the social and political decisions are evaluated everyday, place where literature gets its due credit and a place where human despite several social, economic and spiritual levels respect each other, equality amidst inequality can be only witnessed here.

A first glance which looked like ‘City of Chaos’ looked like ‘City of Joy’.

One thought strengthened in my mind is that truth can only be experienced. There is absolutely no other way to validate what is the truth.


- Stray Dog


Real vs. Physical World

It takes just a moment to make or break a persons spirit, who is looking outward. 3 or 4 people gather around a person and talk about something that embarras the person will bring the person’s confidence down but at the same time if they appreciate or talk good things about the person it will boost the spirit up. Looking outward is natural and does not require any effort. Our physical eyes let us only look outward. When we open our eyes if we think deep we find ourselves lonely on this earth and find ourselves tiny in front of the entire universe that we can see. We feel powerless in front of so many people with so different thoughts who have no interest in us. The only way to win that world is by showing our own superiority though Physical power, psychological power or resource power. But despite all the power you can accumulate, you will have somebody who can let you down easily. A never ending war that only be ‘In progress’ but can never ‘end’.

On the contrary the real world is when we close our eyes. Ample of opportunities to explore the unleashed strengths, opportunities and energy.Resources that are absolutely yours and god gifted. Nobody to complete with except self. No need to show your power to win but just put efforts in right direction. A battle which will make your life more meaningful and always successful. Happiness or pleasure will be regular attendance in the war with self whether you lose or win. Nobody can let you down irrespective of whatever may be the situation. And you are the hero of your world.

It is not possible to remain in the inner world and survive due to bodily needs hence we need to live most of our day in the physical world. But a simple effort to live at least the number of minutes as your age in inner world will bring you enough energy to remain content and confident for rest of the day despite looking outward.


- Stray Dog



A wave of thoughts from the memory lane were coming and drenching Tommy again and again. His eyes were red, full of tears and anger was visible clear enough. He was standing on a river bank at the end of the jungle. His teacher, brother and close friend Moti used to stop him to go to that part, as a family of dangerous wolfs stay there, but today he is free from all those fear.

Today he is fearless inside and outside. He is feeling the air is free for him and he has the entire world to rule, but somehow he is extremely sad and the wish to rule the world no longer there. He is surprised to think that the desire that has driven him for last 14 months when fulfilled after so much strategy, planning, efforts has no meaning when fulfilled. He is not able to figure out what went wrong.

About 14 to 15 months back, Tommy and his 3 puppy friends in search of new, better and safe territory went into ‘Sayaji Society’. It was a deserted society with hardly few human families living. Not a lot of food but safe society to live. They quickly found Moti as a big brother who was living in the society as their friend, philosopher and guide. As they understood Moti, they fell in love with him. They never found any external threat or never had to fight for justice among themselves when Moti was around.

Tommy was very impressed with Moti. He wanted to rule the entire society like Moti does. He thought he can learn and grow to rule the society along with Moti. He was in all praises for Moti.

Gradually days passed by and all puppies grew to become adults, had their own family. They were a happy family inside and outside. Tommy grew with his skills and power. He developed his own followers and created a sub-territory of his own.  He was skillful and powerful, it was accepted by Moti and rest of the society but his desire to grow was still not getting satisfied.

Despite the growth and power he was not happy. He found himself living under the shadow of Moti. The thought that people still think it’s Moti’s territory was gradually eating him from inside.

He could see what Moti is not good at and how he is strong at those areas.

He found a recent occurrence where some bad dogs from outside tried to attack Moti’s gang. Moti preferred the method of long barks than attacking them back. He found it funny and idiotic to think dogs use the method of dialog to settle the matters.

“This is not the way how you must run a gang of dogs”, he thought in his mind but nobody in this society will listen to him as they think Moti is always right. He still spoke with some of his friends but did not get enough support to challenge Moti. He went alone and challenged Moti for his wrong decision. Moti in return explained his strategy why he did like that to Tommy which was more irritating. Tommy thought it’s Moti’s arrogance to think that what he does is always right.

Days passed by and incidents kept on adding to the list where Tommy did not agree with Moti. Moti gradually brought some more societies under his domain and Tommy was impatient to rule the Sayaji society. Moti was convinced that Tommy will be able to rule Sayali society and he will anyway be there around to keep an eye on the society. The only fear Moti had is Tommy may get hurt due to his fight at first blink attitude.

Tommy was happy to get his own area but frequent intervention of Moti and at times Moti overriding his decisions were making him uncomfortable. He asked Moti to stay away from his society in a very polite way where Moti would not feel bad. Moti understood the trouble that Tommy was going through hence obliged and stayed away for 6 months.

Days passed by and one day Moti got to know that there is marriage in Sayaji society. Marriages meant a lot of food in dustbin and many outside gang of dogs trying intrude the society. Moti was extremely confident about Tommy but did not want to leave Tommy alone. He shifted his focus back to the Sayaji society and started moving around, talking to other puppies and getting more into details.

Tommy was not happy this time. He found himself losing status that he had built over past 6 months and going back to square one. He tried putting extra efforts to show the world that he is an able ruler of the society.  Despite all his best efforts he found he is still living under Moti. People never taking him seriously or he thinks he can never come out of this shadow. This thought bothered his so much that he gradually developed hatred about Moti in his mind. He used different ways to tell Moti that he is not liking this fact but Moti surprisingly was rude and non-receptive this time. The reason was because Moti wanted to stay on ground no matter what till he marriage gets over. Tommy’s anger grew ferocious now and publicly started disrespecting Moti.  More than Moti, rest of the gang was not happy with Tommy’s this behavior. This difference grew so strong that for almost a month Moti and Tommy did not talk to each other in a normal way.

Anger and frustration filled Tommy’s mind. Due to their differences all the dogs in the society started fighting with each other for silly reasons. Moti realized that it is going wrong, he decided to withdraw and leave the society.

One human from the society complained about the fighting dogs to municipality and their van came to catch the dogs. All the dogs were captured and kept in the van. Moti saw that and came running behind the van in desperation to help somehow. These were his children. The van was speeding but Moti did not lose hope and kept running. Tommy saw this and thought that this is the guy because of whom today we are here. He should have withdrawn long back so that we would have lived happily. Moti was quickly approaching the van when the van stooped at the signal. He quickly jumped on to the steps of the tail end of the van and barely managed to stand there. Tommy was inside the bars of the van. Wild thought came in Tommy’s mind to get rid of Moti by pushing him. He came close to Moti. Moti was struggling to stand in that small platform.  Moti said, “Sorry, I feel I am cause for this” and in seconds Tommy’s mind changed thinking, this is the guy who brought me up, protected me throughout, made me what I am. How can I think this way about him. But at the same moment van took a sharp run and Moti fell down from the van and a truck ran over him.

All dogs inside the van were crying and shouting but Tommy was silent. He could not think what was right, what was wrong. He could not think whether he is happy or sad. He could not believe what happened. The van left the dogs in the riverside at the end of the forest. Rest all dogs ran away fearing the wolf would come but Tommy stood there alone. His thought to push Moti haunted him. His thought sometime blamed Moti for the entire episode and on second thought he felt that he is the cause.


- Stray Dog


Leadership – Spiritual

Leadership is a spiritual activity. You lead by your spirit, thought, your devotion, not just by action. If you act like a leader without the movement of your inner world then you are faking leadership. A churn of thoughts must happen within your mind before you even make a single move.

You must believe in your move. You must be truthful about your move. You must be quick in your move but it can not be just a random move.

You can not be obsessed with yourself while making moves where you want yourself to be known as a leader. A leader always makes selfless moves. Impractical many say and theoretical others but practice it and see the beauty.

Discipline is essential and applicable only to self. Like sun. You follow the discipline but do not enforce. If you are a great leader, others just follow you. There are times you may see people not following but that’s your lacking as a influencer not others.

Single occurrence of stealing (Taking others credits), lying (Giving false information) and holding (not sharing the fruit of efforts) takes the title of leader from you for the lifetime.

Leader is always awake to find new paths, vigilant of problems, prompt in action. A few seconds doze might make your followers suffer.


- Stray Dog


Good and bad

“Good and Bad!!”

“Good or Bad!!”

“No I would say Good and Bad”

“It is sometimes good to be bad and bad to be good. As goodness of good sometime hurts and badness of bad when predictable feels good”, Rohit, was blabbering,
”What are you blabbering?”, I asked.

“It hurts when somebody talks about goodness often and always points finger at your faults. It sounds or feels like violence of good. It kills you but still leaves you alive. The worst part is, you become arrogant and don’t think your bad as bad rather hate the good.”, Rohit said.

“So, you want to continue doing bad but don’t want anybody to tell you”, I asked.

“No!! I mean, you should tell me what I am doing wrong, leave me there to think. This world has unanimously never agreed anything as good or bad. It is up to me to think and take a decision. But you repeating the same again and again feels like you are victimizing me and I consider you as villain although your are telling good.”, Rohit explained.

“Okay, I understand. You mean to say that we should not preach others about goodness it may turn out to become violence.”, I tried to conclude and put the topic to an end.

“You act with goodness and influence others but never force anybody. That’s what I mean.”, Rohit said.

“ I am not talking about kids here. I am telling about adults.”, Rohit clarified.

“You were talking about goodness of bad?”, I asked.

“Yes, At times I have seen people who are involved in illegal act come to help you for your good deed.”, Rohit explained.

“Actually, there is nothing called absolute good or bad. Where we put rules, we will find good as well as bad. But rules are manmade so good for somebody may not be good for others. Bad for one may not be so for another.”, Rohit explained.

“But the modern world tried to tag everything. Like good, bad, clean, dirty, happy, sad, etc. Your good may be my bad. Your clean might be my dirty. Your happy may be my sad. So don’t enforce the tags on me. Leave me alone. This world will be a much better place to live.”, Rohit said.

Not sure what this conversation yielded but one thing I understood that thrusting our understanding or belief on others is as violent act as doing a physical torture.

Children: Do not take this discussion in the context when parents are involved. Parents are always right.


-Stray Dog



“I get annoyed when people tell me to hurry up. I feel as if they don’t have confidence in me.”, I wrote in my journal.

“May be they truly don’t have confidence in you”, A stranger sitting next to me peeping through to see what I am writing in my journal said.

I immediately closed my journal and said, “How dare you read my journal? Don’t you know you should not read anybody’s letter, journal or diary? How insensitive people? Huh!”

“Didn’t anybody tell you that park is a public place and you should do all your private activities at private place”, Stranger challenged me.

I was truly annoyed now. I wanted either to go to a serious fight even if it goes physical or leave the place without creating a scene.

“Calm down my friend. I was teasing you. Friends!!?”, he extended his hand for a handshake.

With a little apprehension I shook his hand and sat there doing nothing. He initiated the conversation.

“I feel annoyed too when people don’t show confidence in me. When they underestimate me or ignore me. May be because I have a lot of confidence in me and I feel I can’t go wrong but they think otherwise.”, Stranger said.

“People not thinking about me the way how I think about myself if my biggest problem. Not sure how to make them think the way I think about myself.”, Stranger kept talking in the same subject and this created interest in me to talk to him.

“It is unfair to expect people will have the same confidence in us as we have for ourselves. They can’t read our mind and understand our plans to accomplish things. Hence it creates confusion and causes lack of confidence.”, I said.

“We should make our intentions clear and plans well presented before people who matter, so that they know what you are thinking. Then keep doing things as per plan and keep them informed about it so that they know you are progressing. Then inform them about the task completion status and how well it was done when it is complete. This will make them feel better and have confidence in you. If you continue doing this people concerned will have great confidence in you and you will never be questioned.”, I explained in detail.

The stranger was listening to me carefully and then said, “If so, why did you write that you get annoyed when people tell you to hurry up. You know the problem and solution.”

“Ohh, that is for me to write the same problem and solution what I told you, in the journal. I love writing my emotions and bring them to a logical conclusion. If you think about any disturbing emotion it takes longer to settle it in your mind but if you write, you get it easily. That’s how I feel, may not be true for others.”, I explained.

Somebody called him in his phone and he excused himself and rushed from that place and vanished from my vision. I realized that I did not ask his name or any other details about him. Anyway, sometimes it is better to have people as strangers than name them.


- Stray Dog



“Extremely frustrating! How can he say this to me? He is blaming me and trying to convince others that I have made a blunder. Unacceptable!!! I am going to reply to this immediately. I will teach him what I am up to.

How dare he even say this to me when his designation is much lower than mine?

The people of that city are like that. They always try to blame others for mistakes and claim that they are straight forward.

Who gave them the liberty to disrespect others in public. This is a professional world. They have to behave like professional.

Actually he knows nothing and they are very lazy people. They use these tantrums to hide their weakness. Unbelievable that these kind of people are surviving in the industry. The most unfortunate situation of the industry.”, A frustrated, angry, defensive Rakesh is talking on the context of an email where he had missed to follow one process as he was asked by somebody in management which caused little glitz and was called out by one member from another office which is in a different city.

Jignesh his colleague was the silent listener here. He did let Rakesh to vent his frustration and nodded his in affirmation to ensure  Rakesh feels comfortable. There was a long silence after Rakesh spoke.

“What is the problem?”, Jignesh asked.

“What do you mean? I explained you everything? They are trying to act smart and demean us.”, Rakesh said.

“That’s your perception which you believe as truth but can you please think beyond and give some benefit of doubt to your belief.”, Jignesh said to provoke the positive thought in the mind of Rakesh.

“The other day I heard great appreciation about you and your team by the manager of that team. They said you guys are doing great as team and rapidly improving.”, Jignesh lied to see the change in thought process.

“Actually it was not that bad. They have helped us many time. Rather held our hand in bad situations. Kashish, Raj, Naren, James, Kim, Tom are very nice people. Even Tim. But Akash is acting too smart. Couldn’t he have told me directly that he thinks my skipping tis process is bad and I could have explained him why I did that. What was the need to tell this to entire world?”, Rakesh clarified his problem. Jignesh saw he is now in a position to focus on the real pain point.

“Can you please read the email again and show me where you saw he blamed you?”, Jignesh asked Rakesh where he had already read the email and found no reference of Rakesh.

Rakesh realized that but then said, “But I was the person who did it, right? so I should be blamed.”.

“You said somebody in senior management of another department asked you to skip the process, isn’t it? What if the question is on him and there is no way to blame a person of that stature without generalizing it.”, Rakesh said.

“I am not saying that it is the right way but want you to think in other perspective”, Jignesh clarified.

Rakesh read the email again and again with the new mindset and he started believing Jignesh’s point of view. He pinged Akash in office communicator to clarify his stand where Akash very clearly mentioned his intention which was similar to Jignesh’s thought process. Rakesh regained his confidence back on team work and considered all working for the common purpose.

It is easy to lose your temper, misunderstand, miscommunication or criticize, as a reserved body fluid and dedicated nerves are sitting idle for this purpose. When you stop thinking constructive, positive, proactive, these nerves get a chance to play their role. You need to put efforts to stop them from functioning. It needs effort. Your wrong perception is lesser harmful when you just keep it with yourself but when you start spitting that in public to get a gang of people with similar thoughts you create a bigger unpardonable problem for the society. It is easy to feel bad but as humans we must understand and try all our efforts to make it good. Life is short to bring the world together, no time to create distances.


- Stray Dog


Meeting with someone special

“Meet me at Atlantis Park At 7:30 PM today. It’s urgent”, An SMS among  dozens of other marketing SMSes caught my eye while going in the elevator. Number is not in contact list and can’t recall who it may be. Extremely curious to know the person who sent this text but have a meeting in just a minute. Rushed to Rakesh one of my team lead and requested him to manage the meeting without me as I have got something urgent to do in personal front. Went out and called the number but no response. Tried 5 to 6 times but still no response. Sent many texts back asking who is the person and why he/she wants to meet me. Not sure why I was so anxious, where I had the option to ignore it. 10 minutes effort to reach the number was unsuccessful.

It was 3:15 PM and I was clueless. Not able to concentrate at my work. Sent an text saying ,”If you don’t tell me who are you, I will not come.” and thought I will take that stand but somehow was not able to take that stand. At 7:30 PM, I had an important meeting where I had to represent my team and in no situation I would skip it but I felt like approaching my manager to say that I have got some personal work, can I skip it. He agreed and assured me that he can take care of it. It was 7:15 PM and Atlantis park was just 5 minutes walk from my office. Started from my desk to reach there. I was sweating for no reason despite sitting in a air-conditioned room.  Walked till the park and slowed my walking speed when I reached near the park to not give the person a feeling that I am too anxious but I was racing inside my mind.

7:31 PM, I entered the park. It was dark, as night was approaching fast, clouds were giving extra cover to my worry and there were big banyan trees all around.Beautiful park but I had never visited it. Some evening joggers were finishing their last lap and going out. The vendors selling different snacks, balloons and other attractive toys were also packing their shop in order to go home. Only few kids were playing the swing in the north west corner of the park. I could hear their guardians are requesting/ordering/ threatening to come out soon. Not sure where to find this anonymous guy I started walking on the jogging track which covers the complete park. Very anxious and a disturbed me, trying search all around to find that person. It was getting dark and dim park light were not even enough to see and recognize anybody. I was looking at my watch may be 10 times in a minute and wondering why the time is not passing.

7:56 PM, I heard foot steps of one person just behind me. I turned back. To see a somebody similar to my physical built is walking behind me and gradually came next to me. I did not stop and continued and he continued at the same pace. I was little scared now. Then I heard him saying, “Thank you for coming”.

I stopped instantly and said, “So, you sent the text.”, paused for a while as my fear, frustration was turning to anger. “Do you know, you wasted my entire day? I could not work at all. I skipped such an important meeting for you. I sent you hundred texts, couldn’t you respond and clarify my doubts. I am not sure why I came but this is not done.”, paused for few seconds to breath and see my anger cooling down a bit. “Now tell me why you called me here urgently when you did not even come in time. I am sure it is not to walk in the park.”.

“Can we talk sitting on this bench?”, he said. I obliged and sat there even before he sat down.

“I was there all the time but you did not notice.Because you were looking for me in a wrong direction.”, He said.

“What life are you leading? Where is your life?”, He asked.

“What do you mean? I am perfectly fine. By the way, are you trying to sell some product to me. If so please stop the conversation here and let me go. How does it matter to you about my life?”, I was sure this guy is of no god use and as wasted my time. rather I am a fool to get carried away by just an SMS. I started to go out.

“Please sit for a while. I won’t take more than 5 minutes of your time.”, I sat down.

“Everybody avoids me as I do not give pleasant experience to anybody or their close ones. But I love everybody. You are living your life like a dead leaf floating in a water stream. Situations all around you are driving you and you are just getting carried away by that. You have no definite goal or destination. You are reacting as the situation demands emotionally, mentally as well as physically. You are not using even the minimum percentage of power that a human possess. You are not living. Let me tell you, I am your death. I am here to take you along with me. But it looks like you never lived a life of your own. I feel pity for you for wasting a lifetime just chasing some stuffs that never mattered to you. What you want for your life, a good morning or a good night? Who matters to you your friends, family or people you do business with? What is important for you money or happiness? What do you care most your friendship, your reputation, your righteousness or your love for society? Who are you by the way? you can’t chose. How do you think people who have lived or dealt with you will remember you if I take you now? What you achieved that you are proud of and what you could have achieved more? what you will repent if I take you away now?

My dear friend, you are meant to do a lot here. You have magical powers within you and enormous strength to achieve it. Do not waste it by just flowing with the situation. Manage your situation. Manage your emotions, Manage your life. Be a true manager of your life. Else, I will feel bad as I am the one who will be blamed for all your failures because I am the ‘Dead you’. A flickering lamp on top of our bench suddenly came to its full form to help me see the person’s face clearly. It’s just another me. But with lot of hope in his eyes from me. He said, “You are my life and I am your death. Please take care so that I will feel proud.”.


- Stray Dog


Let Strengths Rule

This blog is a dramatic representation of how to use your strengths to overcome the weaknesses. As per Strengths Finder an individual as 34 primary strengths. Out of which top 5 are the ones which you can call as top strengths but rest 29 strengths are present in varied levels. Our attention is always on weaknesses when we fail and we try to develop the strengths which are weak but if you notices, your strengths are the ones which help you survive difficult situations. Hence while not ignoring weaknesses, we must let our strengths take charge of overcoming weaknesses hence causing great success anytime and every time. This is just my interpretation.

Sitting at my cubicle and thinking on the recent failure of mine where I could not speak assertive enough.  “If I could have set the bars at best, then I might not have hesitated to call spade a spade. How to improve this skill of mine”, this thought was overpowering my brain’s all activities. Which even did not let me go to the toilet despite severe pressure within due to nature’s call.

A very depressed, de-motivated and un-kept looking individual came to me. Stood just next to the cubicle wall and said, “Need an one-on-one with you. Now!!”.

I was surprised to see the attitude and finding it hard to identify this person. I know him but can’t name or recognize him. I asked “I am sorry but I am not able to remember your name. Who are you?”. This not only diverted my attention from the past failure but also increased the pressure within due to nature’s call.

“I am one of your 34 team members. My name is“, He said very depressingly. But before he could finish his name I said, “Can you please excuse me for few minutes. We will meet after that. Need a biological break. Sorry”, and rushed to the rest room.

Came fresh and gazed at the area where my team members sit to find out that specific team member. 34 of them, sitting in half hazard manner on a floor in different cubicles. Some complementing each other, some working hand in hand and some maintaining as much distance as possible with others.

I have around 10 team members who do not perform good at all. They need regular follow up and they do not perform even after follow up. I know all of them very well. I meet them every day, sometimes several times in a day. I can not get rid of them as it is against the company policy.  I am sure this team member of mine is not one among them.

There are 19 others, who are average performers, I meet them almost every week. They need some attention or guidance or follow-up at times. I know them fairly well. There are some newly joined ones but I still know them.

I have five strong team members who just do things, I don’t follow-up with them rather they follow-up with me to know the status of things that are blocking them from doing the best whenever needed. I did not meet them for years as I never thought they need any attention. So as per my calculation this guy must be one among those five. I went to find these five and surprisingly this guy was the top rated one in my team.

I went next to him and asked him to come to a meeting room so that we can talk in length and breadth. He immediately obliged.

We are in the meeting room and I must admit that  I was nervous. When the people you depend on are worried it is a bigger worry for you. While my mind was in the rapid search mode to find what might be the reason, he interrupted by saying, “I with my five colleagues feel bad for you at the same time feel less about ourselves.”

“But why?”, I asked.

“We see you are struggling to get the product out, to place our company at the top, but you are not challenging us, rather motivating your less efficient team members to deliver more. We are the best employees you have, give us a chance to handle the rest.   You feel that we do not have the critical skills for the project that we are dealing with now, hence ignoring us but remember we can help the people with critical skills do their best than you. Give us some attention and see what all wonders we can do for you.”, he said.

“But .. don’t you think my primary attention should be going to the weakest ones. They need more help”, I said.

“But, why in the similar set up they are weak and we are strong. I have seen you giving a lot of attention when you are fail but have you seen any significant improvement in past years. It’s because the set up you have does not suit them. They can not be managed by you. But we have remained your strongest for a long time. So if you give us a chance we can manage them as well as give you better success.”, He said.

Made some sense to me so divided the team into 5 parts and assigned one of my strongest team members as the team leader for the group of 7 . I found greater increase in my productivity and more time for myself.


- Stray Dog