Sutta?? (Smoke Break??)


Jiten was a small town boy who wanted to study in an engineering college after succeeding in a competitive examination. A big dream of the family got fulfilled and Jiten was on top of the world.

First few days in the college was the time to wonder how big the college is and exploring how an engineering college looks like. In few weeks time he realized that he is considered as a second class citizen among the students as he comes from a small town and not reputed school. His dream was big and his aspirations were high. He thought, it is impossible to reach to the top if he is not part of the students from big cities, colleges or rich families. He explored all options and through different tactics finally he entered the gang. Once he was in the gang the majority of the day spent in fun activities. Fun not always in pure form. One of the fun he acquired was smoking. Although he was not getting enough pocket money to buy cigarettes but his friends were kind enough in these matters initially. In return he used to help them in studies, assignments etc. Little bit of shameless begging in the wrap of friendship prospered his smoking career.  His college journey was full of fun and exciting incidents of not-permitted-to kind of adventures.

After he graduated with some struggle he got his first job and he could continue his smoking habit. Habit that was nurtured by begging, sharing and buying skills. At times it was considered as a manly act and at times an act of revolt from good people. He continued to prosper in his job as well and buying power increased hence sharing and begging skills were no longer required.

Throughout this journey, friends, family members and inner voice many a times asked him to stop it. Finally when his first child was born he decided to quit smoking. Since morning he was under so much pressure to smoke that his urge to smoke was multifold compared to smoking days. It made him so crazy that he started behaving bad with family members, friends, colleagues including his boss. He tried his best to quit and the more he was trying he was suffering from anxiety. Then after few days he decided to continue smoking as he felt he was doing more harm to himself and life by his these behaviors. This process was attempted many times and sometimes within days, to at times within hours, he had to resume smoking.

He realized it is essential to analyze the thoughts that are preventing him from quitting. After some careful analysis he realized that the thought that was prevailing was “I have to quit smoking, I have to stop this habit. it is a bad habit hence I have to stop, for my kids happy future I have to stop. etc”

All these were thoughts that were representing negative pictures. Pictures that scares, depresses and develops guilt feeling within.

He decided to start thinking positives. What opportunities that will bring if he quits smoking. What benefits he can get by quitting etc. He realized that there are so many good things he can do instead of spending the time in smoking. The positive feeling he will get to tell people that he has quit smoking and of course the money he will save. It took a while to register these thoughts and while in this process he never hesitated to smoke when he felt like. No pressure on mind and doors were opening towards the positive world. Sudden work pressure made him busy and after a day he realized that he has not smoked since 24 hours. He continued to stay busy and do what he wanted to do. Days passed by and he lived smoke free without any guilt. Once after couple of weeks he thought he is very happy hence he needs to smoke. As promised to self not to pressurize, he went to smoke a cigarette and it resulted in nausea, vomiting and discomfort. He realized that his body rejected the habit.

He remained smoke free happily ever after.

Our thoughts make ways to the destination we want to reach. Despite having a well defined goal if we think negatively or worry about failures we may not reach the goal ever. Despite having a not so defined goal if we think positively about achieving it, there are chances we may meet the goal. Our actions are only reflection of our thoughts. If we think freely, we act freely. If we are indecisive then our actions will reflect the confusion.

Wish you a free life!!!

Namaste!!!

Stray Dog

A new Car in the Society


Amrut-Ganga Society is a residents society of an apartment which has 16 flats. Although the apartment was in a livable condition since past 3 years but did not have all the amenities till recently. In these 3 years the occupancy has increased from 2 to 11. New families came in and new friends were made. Some became friends as soon as they came and some remained indifferent. Some friends turned foes and some foes turned friends. All these continued as it does in any human village.

Celebration, fun, cooperation, arguments, gossips, quarrel, sacrifice, love and hatred all coexisted in the society. This made it a fun place to stay. I call it fun place because the above activities acted like ingredients to make the stay at society taste like undhiyu.

The basement of the apartment was reserved for parking for residents. As people occupied the flats the car owners picked up their preferred parking spot available at that moment. At times there were little tussle between car owners to occupy the convenient parking spot. When residents realized that parking is giving some trouble, they tried to find a solution to the problem. They thought of allotting parking spot to each flat. But upon careful study it was realized that there were only 11 parking spots and out of them some were not convenient for parking midsized vehicles. So they thought of leaving the resolution of the problem on time and let the currents car owners park their cars where they usually do. These were all good as only few out of 16 were owning cars and others had two wheelers.

It continued with some hiccups in between when a owner got a guest who came with a car or somebody parked their car at another place etc. But the situation remained bearable.

As some flats were occupied by young couples, over time they started buying cars and gradually all the convenient spots started filling up. The tussle became minor to moderate over time.

One fine morning when one of the owner came back from a vacation found his (So called) parking spot was occupied by a newly bought car. Despite being happy that one of the member of their society has bought a beautiful car, he was upset. He asked the new car owner to take the car out of his parking spot but the owner of new car denied and sounded rude.

Fearing the situation has come to a threshold there were lots of arguments, discussions and ideas to solve the parking problem. Finally some  came up with an idea to allot the parking spots available. Fortunately there were only 11 occupants and 11 parking spots. Hence they went ahead and allotted the parking spots. Then they came to tell everybody to park their car in the allotted spot. Everybody obliged except the owner of the new car. He was arrogant and also turned violent stating you have no right to decide where I shall park my car. You are not a legalized authority. This resulted in many more arguments, strategies, tactics to solve the problem but the owner of new car was stubborn.

People started boycotting the owner from every activity, thought of evil ideas to trouble him and his family, cursed him and negativity flourished like weeds during rainy season.

Finally one day a senior member of the society thought of having a dialog with the new car owner. He went with some flowers, sweets and snacks with him and knocked the door of the owner.

“Hello uncle, good morning”, the owner said.

“How are you son? Happy new year! I have got something for you and your family. May I come inside?”, the senior said.

“Yes Uncle, always welcome.”, the owner said and called his wife and kids. Then he offered him to sit.

They spoke on various topics to know each other and it was a great discussion. The senior member was surprised to see how cordial and respectful he is, unlike his impression about him. He finally decided to ask, “Son, is there a reason you are not following the society’s allocation of parking lot. I see you are such a nice person. Is there a reason and can I help anyway”.

The owner hesitated and the family members who were sitting there gradually left the drawing room. After much hesitation he said, “We don’t know how to drive a car. We bought the car as we always wished to but we could not still get the confidence to drive the car. I can not park my car in the allotted space because its narrow and needs lot of care. I also feel uncomfortable asking for help to park the car and I do not want to show my weakness. I am telling you the truth uncle but please do not disclose it to others. They will laugh at me. I know everybody in the society are angry with me and we are also spending sleepless night due to this.”.

Uncle was now dumbfounded by hearing this. He did not expect this at all. After absorbing the matter he said, “Son, would you mind if I teach you driving. I assure you nobody will know about it. Once you learn you can park comfortably in the allotted parking spot. It will not take more than 7 days.”

The new car owner agreed to it and everyday night after all owners slept they went for driving training and within a week he was expert to park his car at the spot allotted. All others were surprised. Some thought it was due to their pressure and negativity this car owner bent down.

Fear, sorrow, lack of confidence and many other type of weaknesses take the form of anger or arrogance if not managed well. We all need help time to time but our weaknesses stop us from taking it. Hence we show anger or bad behavior to hide the weakness. If we can be truthful to ourselves and tell the true feeling to our mind and loved ones, we will live a happy and satisfying life.

Namaste!!!

Stray Dog

It’s Expected


6:00 AM in a winter morning. Waking up kids for school is a tough job. The first difficulty is to wake ourselves up and be in a position to face the challenges you get when you try to wake up kids. We were successful today to get them ready for school (A cooperative family effort). After lots of love/hate, slow/fast and interesting/uninteresting actions by all parties we were ready for school. While in the car to drop them at school, I tried my philosophical stick to make it a happy beginning of the day. I asked kids, “Happy Happy Day!!!”. One of my kid responded shouting , “Not happy as my leg is paining”. Response was full of anger and sadness. As I was also barely able to keep myself awake after a 5 hours sleep I got angry and gave a big lecture on good behavior. But soon I realized that my kid was expecting a little bit of pamper, love, compassion and motivation. As he was hearing only instructions from me it was not fitting his expectation hence he was getting irritated and angry. A 3 seconds hug, 2 nice words and attention of paining (not really ) leg made him happy. Both went to school wearing a smile.

Every unexpected object, action or thought is attractive (both in positive as well as negative term). Bunch of people standing on a road makes many others stop to enquire what’s going 0n.  Every strange behavior attracts attention of people. Every unusual art form attracts many. This has become a money making formula for many. I have heard many music albums which were hotcake in the market because the singer had a unusual voice. I have seen some products (edible as well as non-edible) attracting people as if that’s the last thing on earth to acquire. I have seen many comments from people being discussed so much as if they are the creators of this universe. But the fact is that when things don’t fall in the frame of our expectation, it attracts criticism or appreciation. Rest all are usual or taken for granted.

Hence it solves the mystery why people behave strangely with you, Why people criticize or appreciate you.

Every time you see a strange behavior from anybody you must understand there is something which is not matching the expectation. Now its up to you to decide whether you care the behavior change in the person or not. If you do, it warrants for a deeper understanding of the mismatch and so on.

Namaste!!!

Stray Dog

 

Wishflow


“Am I doing it right? Is this what I am supposed to do at the moment among all the different tasks pending? Spending time here might satisfy my personal desire to become a writer one day but what about the responsibilities I have towards family, friends and society.”, These questions killed my spirit of writing while I attempted to write and spend hours in front of the computer.

After a wrong struggle, I was about to start writing, I recalled that I have to buy medicines and I must do that first because health of family comes first. Then I quickly made my computer sleep and went running towards the parking lot. A small but irritating thought again came to confuse me, “Should I take my bicycle or car. Bicycle will help me take care of my health and cover the missing portion of exercise but it will get me late”. Then considering the need to come back with medicine within 30 minutes made me drop my idea of bicycle riding.

I started my car and went to buy medicine. I recalled that I forgot to finish some repair work at home which I mist finish when I return. As my car had rolled few meters I started hearing instructions.

  1. Press the clutch
  2. Change to 2nd gear
  3. put break now
  4. Honk
  5. honk
  6. honk you idiot
  7. press clutch again
  8. change gear

It was as if somebody is remotely managing me and giving me every bit of instruction. It was so irritating. I thought this might be one feature of this new car and kids might have activated this feature while playing with the set up least evening. I spent few minutes searching but couldn’t find any. I started my car again and instructions started pouring in. I shouted, “Can you please stop irritating me? Can you please stop!!!!”. And surprisingly the instructions stopped. I realized that this was a voice enabled software.

A minute later I reached the medicine store. While coming back home I started hearing the instructions again and I shouted similarly. It stopped instructing me.

But I heard somebody speaking. “What is irritating dear friend? Don’t you find these instructions helpful. It is telling you what to do when. What is right thing to do and what is wrong. Why do you find it irritating?”

I was unable to find the source of this voice but assumed this might be a ‘Siri’ type of feature. I responded, “Are you serious? Do you think step by step instructions help? It might be helpful when you are learning but a efficient driver never needs step by step instruction. Actually an efficient does of any fields needs to step by step instruction.”

 

“Ohh is it? I thought you would like it. This is based on the step by step instruction you are giving to your body to drive this life.”, It replied.

 

“What?!!”, I said. I was shocked to see the intelligence they have put with this siri like software. I had reached home and had to deliver the medicine but I wanted to continue talking to this smart guy. I went running home and gave the medicine and said that I will be back in few minutes.

I came back, started the car’s system and asked, “Who are you?”. I did not hear anything back. I tried to see that system is properly turned on. Then I started my car ignition and started taking but no response. Then I drove for a while still no response.

I was extremely upset to lose the flow of communication. I came back to my kids and asked them what did they do to the car system last night. As usual, nobody owned any, fearing scolding and blamed each other for whatever bad happened like a perfect sibling at this age.

I spent the day thinking about it and finished all my work as expected or demanded. Next day I had to go to a distant village for some work. I thought I will start the audiobook while driving so that I can finish the book that I am unable to finish for a long time. At the same time I thought I must call my sisters and friends as I am unable to speak to them for a long time. This new car gives me a convenient and safe way of talking while driving due to its great feature. Again a conflicting situation. I decided to talk to my family and friends as reading a book was for personal entertainment and definitely comes at a lesser priority than talking to relatives and friends. The moment I tried to call my sister the system started giving instructions again.

  1. Take a slight left
  2. put break
  3. press clutch
  4. change to 2nd gear

That was extremely irritating at that moment but I did not want to lose this opportunity. I asked the guy, “Who are you?”

“You”.

“What do you mean?”, I exclaimed.

“I mean I am the irritating you. I have been seeing you, irritating yourself for so long with too many logical questions and instructions. Life is all about living it with a flow. Like a river. It should not question so much. The direction should come from what you want to do. It looks like you are evaluating your duties, responsibilities, interest and desire in a common ground and then trying to see what wins in priority. Of course responsibilities will win and your wish and desires will fall behind. When you keep suppressing your wishes and desires for long it will change your character and behavior. You will be a slave of your responsibilities and hate your responsibilities like people hate their boss. This will make you a bad human being.” It said.

“What do you mean? I shouldn’t be doing my responsibilities.”, I asked with annoyance”.

“You must, but those should be part of your wish. As long as responsibilities is like an external job to perform, it becomes a burden but if they are part of your wish list, desire then its all your own. Don’t do things that does not stay in your heart. Which means try placing responsibilities in your heart. Then flow with your wishes and desires as your heart says. It should be a flow, which you even don’t know which turn you will take next. If you flow with it, you will enjoy your life and fulfill all responsibilities as needed.”, It stopped.

“But!!!”, I was about to ask more details about this voice.

“No But. Just do what you wish to do. Else I will instruct you every step and irritate you to the core.”,

“I preferred to stop talking and flowing with the flow of my beautiful wishes”.

Namaste!!!

Stray Dog

Education!!


Out of my many show-off habits, one is to show that I am a very fit and energetic person. Friends in my close vicinity would agree with my statement. I had bought a bi-cycle couple of years back to use as my primary mode of transport to office and first hand tool to satisfy my show-off need. I used cycle for few months but then I had many valid reasons to justify why I stopped riding bi-cycle to office. But ‘junked’ cycle under my flats staircase reminds me every day about the commitment I made to it.  Hence, when I get time to ride it, I take it to do my daily chores. Today was such a day hence I took my cycle to get milk wearing a raincoat as it is raining continuously since past 3 days. While I was returning home one car came rushing from the other side. At that very moment I was just next to a big muddy puddle and as I feared the car splashed almost 90% muddy water in the pothole on myself. The immediate reaction was to scold the person riding the car while removing the mud on my lips, “Uneducated Idiot fellow!!!”. Came home cursing the person and all car drivers which included me as well. Took a bath of lifetime to ensure I am clean. But a thought stuck to my mind.

What does educated means? It seemed to be a very difficult question despite several years of education and use of this word. I was surprised to know that after spending 1/3rd of my life time (1/3rd because I feel I will live for 108 years :) ) as an educated person I don’t know what does educated means.

What I studied in my schools are colleges I have forgotten the details of most except the ones I practice daily. Possessing certificates of education mean education? Ability to understand the context and add value to any conversation, is that education? Knowing how to behave with others in society, is that education? Ability to survive any situation, is that education? I was not sure. I spent 1/10th of my life pursuing my basic schooling but I use barely 2% of the knowledge that I gained. I spent barely 2% of my life in gaining the practical understanding but I use it for 98% of times.

I was fortunately stay in a villageish environment where my fiends were from different type of families. I have seen my friends joining in their father’s business prior to as well as post the school timings. Some were working in farms and some in the restaurant where their father was the owner. They used to talk as adults when the topic was about the business their father was in. They had practical understanding of the business. For them their father’s business was priority number 1 as compared to the school. Most of them joined their father’s business post formal education and have taken it to another level. They were trained to become entrepreneurs and their early understanding about business and opportunities to fail early in their life have made them successful.

I understand it is not applicable to all but shouldn’t we learn more the skills that we need throughout our life. The skills we call as life skills or survival skills. I tried to understand what are the major problems current generation faces and the skills that would help avoid such problems.

1. Unable to manage money: I have seen generations struggling to manage money. Majority get trapped into loans and bad investments during their early youth. By the time they learn it, they are already burdened so much that they live rest of their life in difficulty. Lucky are the few who get to learn this early. As a society shouldn’t we teach them how to handle or manage money early in life.

2. Unable to manage relationships: Relationship is often said as a sweetmeat which the person who possess repents and who does not possess also repents. With 7000 years of human experience and knowledge can’t we teach kids how to manage relationships so that we create a win-win situation throughout our life. Man and Woman should be supporting each other so that they can together perform the duties towards the society. Now a days men and women are so busy handling their internal problems that they are not able to help the society as much as they could do.

3. Unable to manage stress: Frequent cases of cardiac arrests, diabetics, nervous failure among young speaks loudly about the huge presence of stress in society. Can’t the kids be taught how to manage stress and stay happy in every situation.

4. Unable to do basic household chores: I see the greatest struggle at the moment is nobody is interested to do household chores. The biggest reason is for past couple of hundred years it was given as responsibility to ladies in families hence men thought its not something they need to worry about. Now with changing society and rightfully both men and women share every responsibility but when it comes to home management men usually take a step back. This puts women in a disadvantageous position. This creates a lot of stress and unhappiness in society. It is necessary we teach boys and girls home science so that when they grow up they know its the duty of all in family to do household chores and manage house. It will bring peace and happiness to the society.

5. Unable to survive in difficult situations: How can one be called grownup if he/she does not know how to swim, able to protect self and others from difficult situation. Hence physical education should be made as a primary subject.

6. Unable to understand and apply right medicine in emergency: Although modern medicine requires detailed study and understanding before applying, the ancient natural medication is easy to understand and apply for basic problems.It is necessary for every kid to know this while growing up so that they don’t abuse modern medicine rather appropriately use ancient medicine.

7. Unable to communicate feelings/emotions: I have seen how much of ones career is lost due to lack of ability to effectively communicate. Despite talent people suffer pain and distress. Hence it is essential for every kid to learn communication skill which include convincing skill, debating skill and most importantly listening skill.

9. Unable to stand out in a group: Arts in any form is not only stress buster but also a to stand out in a group. This fulfils your desire to be loved by others. Hence every kid should at least know one form of art while growing up.

10. Unable to understand why we do what we do: Last but not the least is basic science and mathematics. Basic understanding of why and how the things happen around us is essential to remain smart and useful to the society.

Hope one day I will get educated and till then I do not have any right to call anybody as uneducated or idiot.

Namaste!!!

– Stray Dog

I have a Problem


kid-hand-clipart-cg_boy-raising-hand

Friday evening 7:00 PM, most of the colleagues are rushing home. Access system at the door constantly beeping as an acknowledgement to every passer-by that ‘You may go home’. Excitement in every face which was hardly seen at the time of entry. It felt like many mechanical life are just getting liberated.It feels like kids rushing out of school hearing the exit bell. It feels like birds are leaving a cage after many years.

I am watching these while my headphone is constantly supplying with information that everybody feels important, except me. A meeting, I did not know how I landed up attending or first of all getting invited to. I am doing everything except focusing on the meeting.It looks like every second is taking hours to pass. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, PinIt, Various websites as well as WhatsApp in my phone are not able to keep me patient. I want to go home and get out of this place. I don’t have any plans for the weekend but at least I will do something interesting.

As soon as one kind person in the meeting said, “Thank you all for your valuable time…”, I disconnected the phone to get ready to fly off. I got up, took my laptop from its docking station and was about to put it in the bag, I noticed one young boy who joined few months back sitting at his desk and passionately working on something. A strange scene to see on a Friday evening from a young boy. I went up to him and asked, “Hey, what’s up. How are things going?”.

“I have a problem”, He said at once.

“What problem, may I help you?”, I asked assuming it would be a small question for which I must be having a two word answer and then I can fly off.

“Why are we doing what we are doing?”, he asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, I was clueless about the context and wanted to know more.

“I really don’t understand why we do many things at office and who is getting benefited by all these”, he asked with real concern in his voice.

I was bit uncomfortable as I felt as if he has noticed me browsing social networking sites, personal email and many other activities while in a conference call. I was a senior developer in the company working since past 10 years, I have a reputation and I was the one who trained him when he joined this company six months back. I was not in the state of mind to hear from him what I should not be doing at work. I was feeling as if my ego was awakened from a deep sleep by a kid. My arrogance was getting itself armed to fight this boy out. My mind was trying to cloud its intellect with anger and arrogance. I was not ready to spil my weekend over a kid telling me what I should not do at work.

“Hey just a request. Can we discuss on Monday? I have something urgent to do so I have to leave office now.”, I said to avoid the unpleasant conversation.

He politely acknowledged. I was also thinking that he might think I am avoiding the discussion but let it be. I am not ready now to talk.

But the discomfort that his question created in my mind could not get rest despite my all attempts. I used to think myself as one of the smartest guys in my circle and my every action has a meaning. But it seems I have lost myself somewhere on the way. I also realized that I was getting tired more often lately and have lost the enthusiasm to attack every task with full energy and get them accomplished with pride. I am just dragging myself on this journey for past few years. I am not sure what I am doing and why.

Sat next to my grand father who was reading books sitting on his bed. He is a voracious reader and extremely enthusiastic person. He is very inquisitive and has knowledge to talk on any subject. When I say any subject, I mean it. He can talk about computer programming as well. I explained my problem with him.

“What do you need from me?, He asked.

I was surprised by his question. I explained him my problem and that means I need a solution. I asked him the obvious. “Give me solution to my problem”.

“What do you think your problem is?”, he asked to my surprise.

I assumed, my grand father has become very old and unable to understand what I am saying. He may need a doctor.

“I have lost my enthusiasm. I am not enjoying what I am doing. I am dragging myself throughout the day. In order to pass the time I am getting involved with activities which are just time killers and do not give any productivity.”, I explained again.

“Okay, You said, you lost enthusiasm. Can you elaborate that for me please?”, He asked with inquisitiveness.

“I am not enjoying the work I do at office. I don’t see any value in doing that. I don’t think my job is important enough and anybody can do that. I am just a place holder. I am a principal software engineer as per designation but I do the same work as any junior developer does.”, I explained.

“I see!! Who do you think should fix this problem? Whose job it is to make your presence valuable and important”, He asked.

“My manager should give me some responsibility. I have proven myself again and again in past 10 years, it is time I should get some responsibility. That would make my job valuable and I will be excited”. I said with great enthusiasm.”

“Okay. Good. So I think you know what to do now. I don’t know much about the nature of your job but in circus I always see the ring master always comes up with a new game ideas every season and trains the animals on that. May be your manager has to come up with a new idea to train you further so that you get motivated. “, He said.

I was irritated by this response. Why is he comparing me with an animal. Why should manager be the ring master. I am a senior member and have lot of respect. Every my manaer respects me. But after thinking over I realized what my grand father meant.

“No!! I don’t think that’s the way to go. I think there is something more needs to be done.”, I protested.

“Go ahead and tell me”, He said.

“I think I am not taking my job seriously. I don’t think my manager knows what extra I can do as a principal software engineer beyond the regular work. I think I should come up with the ideas regarding what all additional work I can do. I think I should be leading here and give a fight to the resistance till I am satisfied or other are convinced. Its me who needs to work and think, not others.”, I said slowly as I was thinking while talking but with great enthusiasm.

“Great!! I heard you saying “I” in every actionable statement. That’s the beginning and this is called self-realization but…you will not succeed.”. Grand Father said wearing a suspicious smile.

“Why? I will do all these? I will ensure I take action on each of these? Why do you say I will not succeed?”, I inquired.

“You need to act and have you decided that you need to act. If so, what would be your action and when you will take the action, that is important to identify. Unless you prepare a good plan and strictly stick to it you will not succeed.”, My grand father said.

I realized that in past I promised big things to him but never took any action despite great intentions. Intentions don’t make you but actions. I quickly thought and wrote down the plans for future and started following on it. Every evening I made it a practice to sit next to my grand father and update him on my actions.

I realized that we have good thoughts but we are either scared or lazy to take actions. A mediocre person is a person with great thoughts but self limiting beliefs.These limiting beliefs stop the person to take actions and let him/her spend the time with some or other mode of lesser quality entertainment. I was doing the same. I was expecting others to give me importance and trigger greatness in me with a great over confidence that I am better than everybody around me. As all actions were expected to be taken by others I had hardly anything to do other than entertaining myself through various toys that current age provides. If I would not have been triggered by the young boy sitting at the corner, I would never have realized that. But today with my grandfathers simple yet powerful questions I have come up with time-bound goals and I have more work that I can think I could do in a day but I enjoy my every moment like a baby.

The very next monday I went to office and asked the young boy, “He I am sorry for lraving that day without completing discussing your problem. May we discuss now?”

He said. “Thats okay, It was not urgent. I am being asked to fix defects which were missed by senior members during the release and I have been doing this since past 3 months. I want to understand why I am fixing the defects when they can fix their own defects quickly and know what mistakes they made while developing it.”, He explained.

I got a sense of relief after listening to his question and understanding the context. I had an answer for his question, I explained him up to his satisfaction. I thanked him for triggering the most valuable thought in my mind and I was happy that I did not discuss the problem that day. Otherwise I would not have got the direction in my life.

Namaste!!!

– Stray Dog

Note: This post is following the coaching techniques a life coach would use to help a client come out of any problem they have. This is just very minimal usage of the technique. If you have any problem you may contact me.

Order! Order!


A big hall with high ceiling, four ceiling fans hanging, room filled with two dozen people and an empty high chair at one end of the hall.Everybody is eagerly waiting for somebody. A loud announcement made everybody silent. The announcement was to inform that the Judge is entering the hall. Now I realized that this is a court room and felt silly about myself for not recognizing it earlier, despite seeing this scene several time in hundreds of movies I have watched till date.

Although I was able to see everything to understand what’s going on here but all the faces of people were blurred. I kept on observing the activities in the courtroom.

Judge came and sat on the chair while all stood up to give him respect. Once settled, the judge called one member to the cubicle next to him. The name was familiar to me, it was my colleague. As soon as he went and sat in the cubicle, judge started giving his judgement and convicted him as an arrogant and selfish person. Rest in the hall were murmuring about how unfair the judgement was without giving an opportunity to the suspect. Then judge announced the punishment that he will remain excluded from all support and assistance. He said, “We will find ways to make him fail at any opportunity that comes next”. I was shocked to see how bad the judgement was. The judgement continued for many more people and to my surprise all were very well known to me. It went on for half a day. Then the time was for the next suspect. After hearing the name, I was dumbfounded. It was my spouse. The charges were of being ‘selfish’, ‘not understanding the feelings’ and ‘nick picking things to create disturbances’. By this time the hall was extremely frustrated with the judge and judgement. I was annoyed to the extreme. I wanted to run to the judge and throw him out of the chair. I attempted but something stopped me. I could not wait and watch my spouse getting convicted for silly and untrue charges in front of public. I put my all force to barge inside the courtroom and after some attempt I could. I ran to the judge and wanted to hold his collar and throw him from is chair. I extended my hand to hold his collar to find the judge was nobody else but me.

The courtroom was filled with all people I know. Recalling the judgements I was hearing for half a day I realized, these were the feelings and thought I carry about them.

I saw myself who was sitting in the judges chair was a weak, tired and powerless person. The sadness of losing I saw in his eyes in more than the combined sadness of all the people he convicted till now.

Now I wanted to run away from this courtroom. I escaped the room as soon as I can and reached the hallway. Then I found thousands of similar rooms on the hallway. I peeped in some of them to realize in every room judgement is going on. A convict in one room is also a judge in another.

Familiar??

Yes, We all judge each other just from our point of view and punish them for their act. We don’t even care to listen to their point of view. The most interesting part is, they even don’t know that you have convicted them and what punishment you have awarded to them. But the end result is our behaviour towards them and increased anxiety within ourselves. The person ultimately getting punished is ourselves. We make our life miserable by developing different behaviour and attitude towards others. It is not only tiring but also kills our spirit of a good human being. Assume how easy it would be if we treat everybody equally with one behaviour, the behaviour that is true reflection of our good self’s true character. It would be less tiring as we don’t have to act differently but also we will be known as a good human being. In order to achieve this happy situation we must stop being judgemental. I know it is easy to say than to implement but as soon as we meet someone or think about someone if we can practice to utter a few words, “I respect you as you are and I will continue to do so may whatever the situation becomes” and see the magic it will bring in your day and life.

Namaste!!!

– Stray Dog